It's Love & Hate

We made it!  The first week of starting the new adventure of learning how to be part-time mommy and part-time working mommy has officially come and gone.

I learned several things this week about settling into this new balance of life...

1st Thing
I have always missed my boys during the day.  As a working mom, that is just a given.  But, I didn't realize HOW much I would miss them.  I honestly was a little fearful about staying at home more. 

Crazy, irrational thoughts were swarming around my head, like - What if I messed up my kids by being their primary care giver? What if I couldn't learn to just play for the majority of the day?  Would I be able to teach them what they needed to learn in order to help them be where they should in school?  Would I be able to have the patience needed with two very adventurous, high energy little guys?

Okay - I know, I know... I am their mother, how could I think these things?  But I did.

Now I know I can do it - and I L.O.V.E. it!  I feel like I have the best of both worlds - mommy and adult fulfillment.

With cheeks like these how could you not love being at home kissing them!



2nd Thing
With every move it gets harder to feel settled quickly.  Especially when you keep adding little bodies with every move!  (I am keeping my fingers crossed that this means Mike will get the baby itch!  I really would love a little girl!)

I have been working on choosing colors for our rooms. I really don't like white walls. I just have to have color.  I usually love the colors that I choose.  I have always had a strong vision of the color I decide to paint a room.

Well, I have to admit that I am still in debate with myself on the color I painted our kitchen.  It turned out MUCH darker than I wanted.  Everyone that has seen the kitchen so far has liked it, but I keep going back and forth.

I hated the color - hated it! - when I first started to paint it.  It just was so disappointing that it was going on darker than what I was envisioning.  But I kept painting thinking it may dry differently or it would grow on me...until I had only two feet left to paint and then I stopped, too discouraged to go on. 

TWO feet!  What was I thinking?  Why didn't I just go on?  But instead, I went outside and washed out the roller and paint brush. 

Then I let them dry and finished painting the two feet that a rashly left unpainted.

Now I continue to go back and forth - I like it and then I'll walk in and hate it. 

I am afraid that it looks like a boy's room trying to be a kitchen.  Or that it looks like one of the boys went crazy coloring the walls with a big blue marker.

It is bold.  I do like color, but is it too much?  Of course it will change the look of it some when I start to put things on the wall, but as you can see there is not much wall space to make it my own.  That is where the color comes in. 

See my dilemma. 

3rd Thing
Leaving behind a wonderful church family and trying to find a new one is very hard.  We are not choosing a church family just for Mike and I now as we did eleven years ago.  The goal of finding a place to help encourage and teach our children is number one. 

I am certainly a believer in the philosophy that it takes a village to raise children.

The more positive reinforcement and loving people we can expose our children to the better.

So we will keep searching to make sure we have found the one that fits all our needs and most importantly feels like a place where we can live out and act on our faith as a family.