Learning Life All Over Again

Now that things are settling down a little bit in our new home - the majority of the boxes unpacked, pictures are finding their places on shelves and paint colors have been decided on - it is time to start thinking about the delicate balance I have to find again between home and work life.

Next week I will begin working part-time and will drive two days a week back to the city we moved from which is approximately 1 1/2 hours away. 

I feel like all the pieces of the puzzle that will make this scenario work have finally fallen into place as of today. 

The sad part is that on two days a week Andrew and Ryan will not see each other during the day. 

I guess they really didn't see each other when they went to the same daycare except for the occasional instance that they would be playing outside at the same time, but separated by a fence.  And the thought of them not being together makes me want to cry.

I hope our new routine finds us fast.  I don't mind change, but I do want it to be structured.  And I need to have a purpose and a definite plan.

I think having the time in the car will be nice.  At least my list of books that I want to read will shrink considerably as long as they are available in audio.  I am looking forward to this quite time to use for thinking, talking to God and perhaps just to sit in peace - or belt out my favorite Broadway show tune. 

Yes, I am that girl you pull up next to in your car who is completely absorbed in the radio/song she is pretending to perform in front of the masses on Broadway.  I was going to be the next Lucille Ball...ahm, AM going to be the next Lucille Ball.  Hey, Broadway could still call!

I am glad to have had the time off during these two weeks to find my role as the mommy and wife I will now become.

I have to admit that I have been VERY nervous about being the sole caretaker for my children. I know, I know that mommy is always best for your children. 

But I still have been anxious about having the responsibility of making sure that they both receive the extra educational and extra-curricular activities that they need during the day.  That I promote independence and imagination and creativity and growth and boundaries.

I have been hearing from Andrew a LOT lately, "Mom, you are so MEAN!"  I know that this is just his age, but it is still hard to hear that criticism, however valid, and know that I am the absolute law almost 24/7 now...and I'll be hearing that I lot more now in place of "I love you!  You are the best mom ever!"  Which were his common phrases not too long ago.

With all my apprehension aside, I am excited about the time I get to spend with these little people God has blessed Mike and I with.

Today was a great example of what I am looking forward to life being on the days that I just get to be MOMMY.  We played on the trampoline, sang, Andrew told stories of his school day, we made a marshmallow-snowman-graham-cracker snack with icing, raisins and pretzels, we shook our groove thing playing the Wii Smurf Dance Party, recited nursery rhymes and Bible verses, and ate a yummy, relaxed dinner all together.

However things fall into place with our routine, I am going to cherish the time I have been graciously given with my two awesome handfuls of love and their boyish enthusiasm for life.