Thinking of Others

I really don't know how to start this topic. 

I have thoughts involving selfishness consuming my mind.  They have been constant these past couple of weeks and I just need to get them out.  I think that it helps to write them down as a process to clear my head and begin to look at them from different angles, or just to forget about them for a while and then come back to them fresh so I can deal with them rationally.

Moving hasn't been as hard as I thought.  Leaving behind a great church family, wonderful friends and awesome co-workers was not going to be easy, and it hasn't been so easy, but it hasn't been all of the tears and heartbreak I thought was certain to come flooding to the surface.  (Mike has even made several comments about how well I have handled things, apparently to his surprise too.)

Until now... things are starting to settle in a little bit more and I am realizing more and more each day how inward focused I am being.  My thoughts have been consumed with situating our new house to reflect our taste and personality.  All of a sudden I have been struck with a feeling of shallowness.

I revolve the days that I am not working (5 out of 7 days a week) around shopping, painting and playing.  The playing part I am not concerned about, but I feel disconnected not contributing to the betterment of society by being involved at a church or organization.

Before we moved, I was running myself ragged because I never said no - at church or the other civic duties I was involved in.  There has to be a balance.  I feel like I have moved from one extreme to another. 

I know how to plug myself in at a church and get going, but this is something we as a family are not ready for since we are still searching for the faith community we are supposed to be a part of here.

I just need to add in some "outward" focus to combat all this inward selfishness.

I need some guidance on getting involved in a new community, but keeping a good balance with family life.